• Jo Pavezi md lg en
    Jo Pavezi md lg en
    Jo Pavezi

    Psychologist, Executive Coach, Psychotherapist

  • Convide seu inimigo para um café md lg en
    Convide seu inimigo para um café md lg en
    Invite your enemy for some coffee

    Dealing with attachments that lead to dysfunctional conflicts

  • Jo Pavezi md lg en
    Jo Pavezi md lg en
    Jo Pavezi

    Psychologist, Executive Coach, Psychotherapist

  • Convide seu inimigo para um café md lg en
    Convide seu inimigo para um café md lg en
    Invite your enemy for some coffee

    Dealing with attachments that lead to dysfunctional conflicts

  • Jo Pavezi sm xs en
    Jo Pavezi sm xs en
    Jo Pavezi

    Psychologist, Executive Coach, Psychotherapist

  • Convide seu inimigo para um café sm xs en
    Convide seu inimigo para um café sm xs en
    Invite your enemy for some coffee

    Dealing with attachments that lead to dysfunctional conflicts

20. Waking up: no more illusions

Waking up is to be aware of the illusions that we have created about ourselves and others. It is to understand that everything that happens is also fueled by us.

We need to start selecting the type of conflicts we should face and those we should just pass up. If we stop to think about the impact of a conflict in our lives in a year or two we may find out that it won’t influence in absolutely anything. Insisting in it would be just one of our controling ways.

Waking up also means to free ourselves from guilt, excess of demanding and self-criticism, of perfection necessity. Allowing ourselves to be more spontaneous and knowing that, by displeasing someone, it is possible to trust that the relationship history will be able to handle that deception.

Dealing with deception is good for relationships. The more we want to maintain perfection, the more we take distance from who we are and who the other is. And the worst thing is hearing the famous phrase: “I didn’t expect it from you”. Somebody was idealizing the other one. Trap!

20. Waking up: no more illusions

Waking up is to be aware of the illusions that we have created about ourselves and others. It is to understand that everything that happens is also fueled by us.

We need to start selecting the type of conflicts we should face and those we should just pass up. If we stop to think about the impact of a conflict in our lives in a year or two we may find out that it won’t influence in absolutely anything. Insisting in it would be just one of our controling ways.

Waking up also means to free ourselves from guilt, excess of demanding and self-criticism, of perfection necessity. Allowing ourselves to be more spontaneous and knowing that, by displeasing someone, it is possible to trust that the relationship history will be able to handle that deception.

Dealing with deception is good for relationships. The more we want to maintain perfection, the more we take distance from who we are and who the other is. And the worst thing is hearing the famous phrase: “I didn’t expect it from you”. Somebody was idealizing the other one. Trap!

In the book ‘Invite your enemy for some coffee, Jo Pavezi invites you to think about relational conflicts and seek ways to detach ideas and concepts that lead to them.

Are you living a relational conflict with your staff, or in your personal life, and want a way to reflect on it? Choose a card and find a tip that can help you.

Learn more about Jo Pavezi's work in interviews, videos and reports of her experiences in Brazil and in the world helping people to confront their conflicts.

In the book ‘Invite your enemy for some coffee, Jo Pavezi invites you to think about relational conflicts and seek ways to detach ideas and concepts that lead to them.

Are you living a relational conflict with your staff, or in your personal life, and want a way to reflect on it? Choose a card and find a tip that can help you.

Learn more about Jo Pavezi's work in interviews, videos and reports of her experiences in Brazil and in the world helping people to confront their conflicts.

In the book ‘Invite your enemy for some coffee, Jo Pavezi invites you to think about relational conflicts and seek ways to detach ideas and concepts that lead to them.

Are you living a relational conflict with your staff, or in your personal life, and want a way to reflect on it? Choose a card and find a tip that can help you.

Learn more about Jo Pavezi's work in interviews, videos and reports of her experiences in Brazil and in the world helping people to confront their conflicts.